Letting go, letting God.

My Mom and I were talking seriously about a certain matter when I got distracted with Tutty chewing something. Tutty, my very naughty baby-sister-slash-pet-dog, jumped on my Mom's working table this morning, taking with her Mom's correction tape in her mouth. That was what she was chewing. My Mom was so angry at her because it's a habit she has been keeping up with the past days. Scared with all the scoldings, I took the correction tape from Tutty and tried to fix it.

I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to figure out how I was supposed to fix it. It took me almost half an hour or so, trying to make the correction tape functional again. My Mom, now relaxed from what happened, went into the room and asked me, "What are you doing?" I told her, "I'm trying to fix this.", showing her the tape. She went out after and then a few minutes later, went inside the room again and asked what my problem was. I said, "I just can't seem to figure out how to fix this!" Then she asked me, "Who told you to fix it? I didn't even ask you to."

That statement lingered on my mind. I guess it's just my personality, and it has been an unbreakable habit, you know. Trying to fix things or mend broken friendships or relationships, pushing my self to the limit until I have figured out a way to bring it back together, thinking I could put things in my own hands. But this morning during my devotion, I realized that it's not a good habit at all. Maybe trying is, but pushing to the point that you want it to be done according to what you want? I realized I was seeking my own way, and not His'. I was trying to control my own life, to control things, when I know I had no right to. I resolved to not put things on my own hands anymore starting today. I prayed, just this morning, for strength and acceptance in whatever God wills to happen in my life. I'm letting Him take control of my life because I know He will never fail me. Yes, I might get hurt more than a few times, but I know He has His own reason. He tries His children so they could come forth as gold. As one of my favorite songs say, "Though at times my heart would break, there's a purpose in every change He makes, that others may see my life and know that God makes no mistakes."